Hampton Roads' Biggest "Born & Raised" Know-It-All!
The Downtowner Answerman
I took my little daughter to see Santa Claus recently
at one of those big stores in Virginia Beach and she
started crying while sitting on Santas lap.
She told me later that she is not afraid of Santa
Claus. My little girl said the problem was that Santa
had bad breath and she was trying to get off his
lap. Is it okay for someone to tell Santa that he
has bad breath?
-- Concerned on Tidewater Drive
Yes, Santa should know that his breath is making some
little children cry. But break it to him gently. Perhaps
you can call Mrs. Claus and explain the situation
to her. You can also recommend Smart mouth (mouth
wash) so Santa will be back to his normal self. After
Santa gets his work done on Christmas Eve and takes
all of the children of the world toys and gives them
Joy and Happiness, you can then take him over to Smartmouth
Brewery and buy him a well deserved beer. My favorite
there is Cowcatcher Milk Stout. anks for writing
and have a very Merry Christmas.
Dear Downtowner Answerman,
Ive got an odd sized mattress and I cant
find a fitted sheet that fits. I put the sheet on
one corner of the mattress and it comes off when
I try to put it on the other side. Then I walk to
the other side of the bed and secure the fitted sheet
on that corner, and POOF! It comes o again. What
should I do?
-- Mist on Colley Avenue.
Dear Mist on Colley,
You sound a little frantic, pal. Like you might be
having a fit yourself. You can get through this. If
its a queen size bed, remember that Queen Elizabeth
has no trouble at all making her bed. I think you
can learn to do this as well. Never give up. Jump
on your bed and have a pillow fight with yourself.
Return to top