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Hampton Roads' Biggest "Born & Raised" Know-It-All!

The Downtowner Answerman

Dear Downtowner Answerman,

That construction that blocked off Redgate Avenue between Colley Avenue and Hampton Boulevard sure took a long time. Was that fake contruction or did they go on vacation and leave the street blocked off?

-- Blocked In, Redgate Avenue.

Dear Blocked In,

As you probably know, that construction is over now and Redgate Avenue between Hampton and Colley is now passable. I heard someone in a nearby condo wanted to have a hot tub in their condo so they blocked off the street in order to put the proper pipes in to lead to the condo owner’s house. The pipes had to be shipped in from Oslo, Norway. The pipes didn’t fit so they had to order some more and it caused delays. Thanks for your note.

Dear Downtowner Answerman,

My wife says she is not serving turkey this year for Thanksgiving saying that I am too fat to consume a fat turkey. Instead, she is serving a Cornish hen and told me that it will help alleviate my fatness during the holiday season. I am 98 years old and feel that I am entitled to have what I want. I have always had a turkey dinner on not only Thanksgiving but Christmas as well. My new wife is only 24 and she wants me to start going to the gym and to eat a more healthy diet so that we can enjoy many more years together. Do you think it’s fair for her to keep me from having a turkey dinner on anksgiving?

-- Missing My Bird, Langley Road

Dear Missing Your Bird,

Your wife is trying to keep you healthy and reach the goal of celebrating a 50th Wedding Anniversary. By that time you will be 148 and she will only be 74. My advice is to cut down on the turkey and concentrate on your diet and drinking plenty of Ensure. Leave the beer alone, too, pal. Thanks for writing.

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October 2017
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